Hey, I’m Esther Malkah. 

I was 18 when I started by Baal Teshuvah journey. I was in class when the Rabbi asked us, “If a Rabbi tells you to do something, with no explanation as to why, will you do it?  Raise your hand if the answer is yes. Now for no.”
I was the only one who raised my hand for ‘no’. 
“Great, you’re the only one who won’t ever be brainwashed.”
I don’t remember what he said after that, but it’s the only lesson that has really stuck with me, even with that period of time when I didn’t listen to it, and I lost myself. 

20 years later I am I paying for that lesson, because I have no clue of what to do with my life now. 

My life is calm. No battles to fight. My house is basically organised. No crisis to manage. No school fallouts or medical emergencies, after 20+ years of crises.

I never took the time to focus on myself. I have always been focusing on the family, or surviving life. 
My life had plateaued. 
My life had literally changed. 
It’s never been this way. 
Ever. 
I have no career to get back into. 
For the first time in forever I have nothing pulling my focus away from my inner self. 

So I’m taking one step forward. I’m taking the time to write. 
I love writing. It is a passion. 

Hopefully reading my words will help you in someway. That’s why I do this. My journey had strengthened me, and hopefully it can strengthen you too. 
But don’t worry, not everything is serious here. Life is meant to be enjoyed. 

Welcome to my world.